


Sometimes it was just too close a call

by AbschaumNo1



Category: James Bond (Movies), Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, angsty, i think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-21
Updated: 2012-12-21
Packaged: 2017-11-21 23:08:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/603087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbschaumNo1/pseuds/AbschaumNo1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There were these moments when James would get shot or pulled one of his stunts and Q just felt this strong fear washing over him</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sometimes it was just too close a call

**Author's Note:**

> So I had this idea this morning... and nothing better to do during my last courses of the term than to write this.  
> Also I hope it is not too OOC...

Sometimes it was just too close a call.

Q knew perfectly well that this was their job, that this was their brand of normal. But that didn’t mean he was always prepared for these moments, nor that he wanted them to happen. They belonged to the job and he would try to live with them and be torn between hopelessness and hope whenever James was presumed dead, because he couldn’t be dead, he always came back,  it was his hobby, but there was just no chance he could have survived _that_ (but luckily he hadn’t dared not to survive yet). In the end no one could say whether James survived or died, not until he walked back into HQ as if nothing had happened and Q hadn’t spent the time between whatever the reason of death was this time and James’ return, worrying and trying to find him (how he managed to escape all of Q’s attempts to find him was still a mystery).

But sometimes it was just too close a call.

There were these moments when James would get shot or pulled one of his stunts and Q just felt this strong fear washing over him, that it wouldn’t work out this time, that it was just too much this time, that this was the final step, the last shot, that this was finally the end. It didn’t have to be one of the times after which he disappeared completely, hid in his death and resurrected himself, sometimes just a bad wound was enough.

Q chastised himself for it, it was ridiculous. They both knew the risks and they both knew better than to let anything get into the way of their work.

But sometimes it was just too close a call.

Q would never show any sign of it in front of his subordinates. They didn’t have to know about it. He didn’t fear that they would lose their respect, they knew better than that, but he would certainly not be the one to let his attachment to a field agent stand in the way of his work and the security of Queen and country. His attachment to James was so much less important than what they were doing to save this country they were living in.

So sometimes it was just too close a call.

Q didn’t allow himself to break down before he had made sure James was safely on his way back and certainly not before the door of his flat (more like their flat, it wasn’t like James had ever bothered to find a new one after they sold the old, because he was dead) closed behind him. Q didn’t allow himself to break down until he was sure that he was alone and no one would be able to disturb him.

Because sometimes it was just too close a call.

He would sit in the shower fully clothed, water dripping down on him, doing his best to calm down. Because this was their life and the chance that it would all end like this was high. Because the probability that it would end differently was close to non-existent. He had known that from the start.

But sometimes it was just too close a call.

Sometimes James would find him there, water still dripping on him. It was his habit to come to the flat first, to take a shower and change into fresh clothes (to check on Q actually, but he would never admit that). He would sit down next to him and put his arm around him, maybe turn up the hot water a bit. No words were needed.

Because sometimes it was just too close a call.

Only when he was safely in James’ arms Q would be able to relax again. Only when James was there and he was sure that life would definitely go on for them he could relax again. Only later when they rested, after James had carried him to the bed the tension would leave his limbs and he would fall asleep. Never letting go of James and surrounded by his warmth, ice-blue eyes watching over him.

Because sometimes it was just too close a call.


End file.
